Domina Dea Speaks

Folsom Street Fair

This weekend marks an anniversary of sorts for me.  It was this weekend, 15 years ago that I first came to really understand that there was something more to the games I was playing in and out of the bedroom with my then husband.  We had been living somewhat of a D/s relationship, and playing BDSM games since we were first dating.  My family used to refer to me as a “ball buster” and acknowledged I definitely wore the pants in my marriage.  Of my then husband, they would say, “he worships the ground she walks on”.   Little did they know, it ran a quite a bit more deep than that.  In an age that information wasn’t readily available, I had little knowledge of female lead relationships and BDSM in general, but I sure knew how to manage my husband.  It was more often than not I tied him up in bed, made him wear my panties and saw to it that he managed the household chores to my satisfaction.  He was routinely punished for mistakes and I made him keep a calendar of all is transgressions so when I took him over my knee on Saturday night he knew exactly why he was being spanked.  We didn’t talk about these things with the other couples we kept company with, and before the internet, we really felt we were on an island, alone in they way we interacted in our relationship.

Then, on a trip to San Francisco late in September of 1994, we decided to take in the Folsom Street Fair.  We had no idea what it was about, but the moment we arrived I felt it was a homecoming.  THESE were my people!  It was a very profound moment for me, to have the understanding that what I was doing at home, with my husband, was a natural extension of who I was at my very core.  I was a sponge, collecting leaflets, handouts, toys, books and ideas.  Though I had been practicing D/s and a form of BDSM since 1987, it wasn’t until Folsom Street that I really started to embrace and come to an understanding of what that really meant.  It was from that springboard Domina Dea was born.

Happy Anniversary, indeed!

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