Domina Dea Speaks

As promised, here are my presentation notes for Anatomy & Safety 101.  If you have any specific questions, please don’t hesitate to send me an email.

DomCon Atlanta

10/9/2009 11:30 / Chardonnay Room

Let’s get started

Introduction:

This is a “101” style class, so much of what I’ll cover here today many of you will already be familiar with, but for those just getting started in the lifestyle, it may be new and valuable information.  In any case, I know there is something for everyone, no matter your experience or sill level.

Before You Play

Talk to Your Partner

• Find out what he/she is into.  BDSM isn’t always about pain, not everyone is into the pain aspects of play. Understand his/her desires of play and set goals for your scene.

Talk About Health Issues

These issues should not preclude you from playing, but may determine how you play.

• High Blood Pressure
• Heart Problems
• Circulatory Issues
• HIV/AIDS
• Hepatitis
• Herpes
• Breathing Issues/Asthma
• Diabetes / Hypoglycemia
• Joint Problems
• Allergies to Latex, Grasses, Perfumes, etc
• Epilepsy or other Seizure Disorders
• Back Problems
• Emotional Problems/Prior Trauma or other triggers (ex, paddles and crops previously used only for punishments will likely make a scene less enjoyable)
• Current Medications / some medications can cause one to bruise more easily or deeply than intended, blood thinners can also have this effect, causing a clot to form and throw up to a week later.

Be Prepared

These are items I recommend you have readily available during play:

• Safety/EMT scissors or seatbelt cutter, capable of cutting though rope or leather.
• Water for you and you partner, BDSM play is thirsty work.  You might even consider a straw, if your partner is bound it will make it easier to have a sip
• Basic First Aid knowledge.  Buy and study a first aid book.  Keep a basic first aid kit in your play space or traveling toy bag.
• Keep a phone nearby just in case something happens you can’t manage on your own (discuss when to and when not to call 911.  recommend having the number for the nearest hospital on hand.  911 calls are recorded, calls to hospital ER are not)
• SAFE WORDS! A large part of BDSM play is role play, pushing boundaries and power/pain exchanges.  Choose a word that won’t typically come up in play, or stick to the standard “Yellow, I need you to back off a bit and give me a five count” or “Red, you’ve exceeded my limits and this scene is over”.  If your partner is gagged and can’t speak, have him/her hold an item, such as ball or cat toy that they can drop or shake to signal a problem.  I use jingle bells in this situation.
• Towels.  These can be handy to mop up spilled water, drool or other leaking bodily fluids.
• Light Blanket or Bath Robe.  Many people get cold when a scene is winding down.  It’s nice to be able to wrap up.  For some, after a particularly heavy session they can be a little shocky.
• Food.  Often a light snack will be helpful in helping a bottom come back to reality. Avoid salty snacks in favor of fresh fruit, raw nuts, juice and hot tea.

Know and Understand Your Personal Limitations

• Understanding your personal skill level is key to safe play.  Don’t try something that you haven’t properly learned. Find someone that you trust and respect that you know possesses a certain skill set hat you want to learn and ask for their help.

Don’t Play Under the Influence

• This is self explanatory.  If you have been drinking or using drugs, when you’re high, you may not be capable of making the best decisions where safety is concerned.  Just don’t do it.

Sanitation/Sterilization/Disinfection

Bacteria become resistant if you use the same cleaner all the time.  It’s recommended that you switch out between at least three of these disinfectants to assure the bugs don’t develop a resistance.

• 10% chlorine bleach solution
• Cavicide Disinfecting Solution or Wipes
• Vionex Antiseptic Towelette
• Lysol Disinfecting Wipes
• Clorox Clean-Ups

Body Mapping

• Know and understand your partner’s body
• Identify key organ locations
• What to avoid during impact play / Neck, spine, kidneys, tailbone

Circulation & Nerves

• Identify blood flow and nerve bundles
• Use the “Squeeze test” squeeze your bottom’s hand, ask them to squeeze back.  Use this often during bondage to gage their circulation.
• Use the “two-finger” method for restraints, if you can’t get your fingers under the rope or restraint it’s probably too tight
• Test for circulation regularly during bondage, is his/her hand/foot getting cold to the touch? How is the color? Red is okay, purple is not
• Use the blanch test, when you press on your bottom’s bound limb does it turn and stay white for a prolonged period of time?
• Identify the location of nerve bundles in the extremities and avoid  tight bondage that will cause compression issues
• Avoid tight bondage across the chest, we want to keep our partners immobile, but breathing shouldn’t be a chore for him/her

After Play/After Care

• Bottoms often feel cold or become light-headed or dizzy after intense play.  I suggest keeping a light blanket of bath robe handy and making sure you have a comfortable place to relax and come back to earth.  Sips of cool water, juice or hot tea and a light snack of fresh fruit, and/or raw nuts can also help.
• Some bottoms experience a “bondage high” and may behave a little silly.  Keep an eye on him/her, offer physical as well as emotional support at this time.
• Often the effects of bondage, or intense play last more than a few hours, and sometimes even days.  Follow up with your sub/bottom, sometimes a call or an email is needed to make sure they are feeling well both physically and emotionally

It was a pleasure to meet you at DomCon.  Thank you for attending my class.   Feel free to email me with specific questions.

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.