On Friday I had the pleasure and honor of recoding a podcast for FetLife.com called This Week in Kink. I was a guest along with BossBondage, FetLife.com founder John Baku and his co-host, tonja.   I have to say that I seriously enjoyed the conversation.  We covered some intriguing topics and there were a variety of opinions shared.   BossBondage later shared in an email he was really surprised he didn’t offend me, and after listening to the podcast last night, I can see why he thought he might have done so.  No worries Boss, I’m pretty thick skinned, no offense taken.

You can listen to This Week in Kink episode #9 here, and you can subscribe to future This Week in Kink podcasts on iTunes.

A few topic highlights:

• What would you do with a dry spell in your kinky life? (Yes, this was the perfect question for tonja, as of course she can relate.) I made quite a good suggestion here, in that perhaps broadening the scope of what we are looking for when it comes to play can definitely make the field a bit larger.  John & BossBondage give tonja a bit of a hard time about her personal dry spell and we make a plea at finding the perfect sadist for her at the end of the podcast.
• Stockholm Syndrome? BDSM? What would you think about a theory that links these two things together, when it comes to the dynamic between a dominant and submissive? We had a bit of a hard time really correlating the two. There are definitely some very strong difference between traumatic abuse (which may cause Stockholm Syndrome) and BDSM. Find out what we believe those are.
• Who are you sexually? Looking back at your sexual development, were there times where you found it really difficult to be comfortable expressing yourself? There were definitely times for each one of us, where we struggled. We discuss those times a bit here, and the progression since.  Some of my readers might be particularly interested in hearing about where my journey with BDSM started.
• Consent. There’s definitely more to that concept, than just acquiring it from the person you’re going to play with. And, it’s certainly is more than just what’s right and wrong. As some people say, it’s called informed consent – but what does that really mean and how can we practice it? And, is there a difference between consent in a relationship and consent in a scene? BossBondage talks on that and other things that he considers to be important on this subject.
• What is Female Supremacy, and how is it explored in what some see as being a valid fetish or kink? And, what do you see the difference as being between dominance and supremacy? I  talk a bit here about my experiences with both concepts and how I see them both being practiced in BDSM.  BossBondage thinks the whole idea is a bit ridiculous, and his point is valid too, if you are basing your greatness on something he says you have no control over. P.S? Don’t call him if you need a tire change.
• What are some of those illusions of sadism and masochism, that you’re constantly listening to come from those who don’t understand its application? Wow, you could almost apply this question to any part of BDSM and kink that people explore. What’s the number one things you hear from those who don’t really understand your kink?

I’m looking forward to participating in future podcasts for FetLife.com, This Week in Kink.  Many thanks again to John Baku & tonja for inviting me to join them in a wonderful conversation about BDSM and allowing me to share a little glimpse into my world.

Dea

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

Folsom Street Fair

This weekend marks an anniversary of sorts for me.  It was this weekend, 15 years ago that I first came to really understand that there was something more to the games I was playing in and out of the bedroom with my then husband.  We had been living somewhat of a D/s relationship, and playing BDSM games since we were first dating.  My family used to refer to me as a “ball buster” and acknowledged I definitely wore the pants in my marriage.  Of my then husband, they would say, “he worships the ground she walks on”.   Little did they know, it ran a quite a bit more deep than that.  In an age that information wasn’t readily available, I had little knowledge of female lead relationships and BDSM in general, but I sure knew how to manage my husband.  It was more often than not I tied him up in bed, made him wear my panties and saw to it that he managed the household chores to my satisfaction.  He was routinely punished for mistakes and I made him keep a calendar of all is transgressions so when I took him over my knee on Saturday night he knew exactly why he was being spanked.  We didn’t talk about these things with the other couples we kept company with, and before the internet, we really felt we were on an island, alone in they way we interacted in our relationship.

Then, on a trip to San Francisco late in September of 1994, we decided to take in the Folsom Street Fair.  We had no idea what it was about, but the moment we arrived I felt it was a homecoming.  THESE were my people!  It was a very profound moment for me, to have the understanding that what I was doing at home, with my husband, was a natural extension of who I was at my very core.  I was a sponge, collecting leaflets, handouts, toys, books and ideas.  Though I had been practicing D/s and a form of BDSM since 1987, it wasn’t until Folsom Street that I really started to embrace and come to an understanding of what that really meant.  It was from that springboard Domina Dea was born.

Happy Anniversary, indeed!

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

Tie by Tat, sassy bamboo bound, photo by Peter Belvin

I’m still riding the high from the Open House & Photography Exhibit for Peter Belvin.  We had a wonderful turn out, in spite of the heavy rain that brought subsequent floods to much of our part of the state.  Peter was happy to talk about what moves and inspires him to create his amazing images, I truly ejoy listening to him talk about his method.  And having him shoot you is an event you need to experience first hand.

Following the open house, I hosted a play party that involved some beautiful rope suspension scenes and  some great bondage scenes using the cross, bondage chair and the various hitching points in the studio were works of art on their own!   The energy was amazing, the company even better and one gorgeous, mocha,  girl went home with some lovely trophies compliments of my SO, grimjacx and myself.  I also had the pleasure of introducing rope bondage to a beautiful woman who came out with her husband to her first ever BDSM event.

Thursday night was the rope event featuring Lee Harrington.  I can’t begin to tell you how exquisite it was to watch him in action.  He presented two performance art pieces that left me completely breathless!  Artemis Hunter, with Ginger Myrrh presenedt a great choreographed piece with the assistance of a volunteer from the audience and Sadistic Rope practitioner Tat, along with his submissive, sassy, gave his first ever performance art piece that had the room spinning.  It was so incredibly sexy, it made me wet.

Following the performances, there was a Q&A in which the presenters were able to share with us thoughts about their methods, passion, safety and what moves them to do what they do.  It was a wonderful night.  My sincere thanks to Artemis Hunter for organizing this incredible

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

Domina Dea

ABOUT ME:

Domina – pronunciation: \dom-i-nah\ f. Latin 1. mistress of a household, 2. ruler, controller
Dea – pronunciation: \day-ah\ f. Latin [goddess] 1. a female god, 2. a woman whose great charm or beauty arouses adoration

STATS:

• Height- 5′7″ with legs to die for
• Weight- Fuck Off
• Eyes- Hazel
• Figure- I own an hourglass that would stop a clock, and carry a 38D chest that I only let special pets and gay men touch
• Feet- Shoe size 9M and with perfectly pedicured toes that love to be worshiped

MORE ABOUT ME:

I’m a former good girl with bad thoughts.  I did well in school and was able to do the corporate gig for quite awhile until I couldn’t take pushing that boulder any more.  Now I follow my passions by binding, tormenting, and humiliating subjects.  I don’t suffer fools easily and demand a pound of flesh from those who cancel without notice.  Of course sometimes I just want my pound of flesh.  Most of the time I’m a high maintenance Diva, but then there are those moments when I like to slum it in dank bars filled with strippers.  I am a highly educated, bipolar, bitch who loves to watch men take huge cocks up their ass when I’m not reading the Economist magazine.  Hot women and successful men are turn-ons, but lowlife scum have their place in life too.   While I will do initial sessions with most – to become a special pet you need to be something extreme.  Mediocrity is the worst form of boredom.

While I’m pretty sharp, I’m not totally evolved yet.  I still hunt for truth when I’m not searching for the perfect cup of coffee, and I hunger to watch great movies in the dark with a box of hot buttered popcorn.

PARADOXES AND IRONIES:

I have a great opinion of myself when I’m not filled with self-loathing.  I love men who are wolves, but can’t stand pigs.  I adore muscular men, but don’t ask me to go to the gym.

WORDS:

I love the word “FUCK.”  I love its compactness and all its uses.  I love fucking, and I love to be fucked-but it’s hard to find the right fucker to do it with.  I also adore the Greek word “Logos” & “fag” and those that identify with it.

TOUGH THINGS TO FIND:

1. Erudite men who aren’t windbags
2. Men who are strong and quiet
3. Beautiful women who aren’t bitches
4. Slaves that aren’t clingy
5. People worthy of trust
6. New writers who genuinely move me
7. Men who will leave after making me come
8. A Sense of Adventure
9. Days when I measure up to my own potential

THINGS I’D FUCK FOR:

1. A trip to Germany and tickets to watch all four of Wagner’s Ring Operas
2. A return to my starry eyed youth
3. Love

If You Have A Burning Desire To Buy Me Something-Don’t Talk About It-Just Buy Something From The List Below And Send It To Me

1. Designer handbags
2. Subscriptions to upscale magazines
3. Gift certificates for high end lingerie
4. White roses
5. Boxes of expensive DARK Chocolate

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

Domina Dea

I’ve been a little quiet the past couple of days, I’ve been busy preparing my presentations for DomCon Atlanta.  I’ve attended this even for a the past 3 years, but this is the first time I’ve taught a class or given a demo.  In addition to presenting, I’m also a Gold Sponsor and will be participating in the industry seminars and discussion panels.  I’ve not seen the schedule yet, so I’m not certain on what day or time I’m teaching, I’ll post the schedule when it’s available.  If you haven’t already registered for this event, I encourage you to do so,  the educational opportunities alone make it worthwhile, but the icing on the cake is the social aspect, of course shopping the vendors and the HUGE play parties!

So, what am I teaching, you ask?  The first class,  “Anatomy & Safety 101″, I will go over what questions one should ask prior to a session, and how those answers can determine what kind of activities you may need to avoid.  I will also discus some common health issues and how those issues can affect play.  Regarding anatomy, I will demonstrate an easy way to “map” your submissive/bottom’s body to easily identify areas to avoid for impact play and discuss a variety of safety points regarding circulation, avoiding nerve damage and the like.  This class is in part a live demo.

The other class, “Urethral Sounding 101”, is a beginner’s basics class  for playing with urethral sounds.  This class is meant for those that are interested in exploring sounds but are uncertain about where to start.  I will discuss urethral anatomy, site preparation, safety, the pros and cons of the variety of sterilization methods, explain the difference in sounds kits, do’s and don’ts and basic technique for the beginner.  This class is a live demo… squee! I have the most wonderful demo bottom.

*the presentation schedule for DomCon Atlanta is now posted.  I’m giving “Anatomy & Safety 101″ Friday, 10/9 from 2:30 – 3:30 and “Urethral Sounding 101″ on Saturday, 10/10 from 1:00-2:00.

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

wikiHow offers the following:  “A haiku is an unrhyming verse genre, conveying an image or feeling in two parts spread over three lines, usually with a seasonal reference.  Haiku in Japanese is written in a single vertical line with seventeen sound units or mora (not strictly the same as syllables) in a rhythm of five, seven, and five. In English (a stressed language), the ideas can be expressed with a short line, a long line, and another short line, usually in fewer than seventeen syllables. It is a sort of urban myth that haiku in English should be 5-7-5 syllables.”   AH HA! I knew I was needlessly hobbled in my efforts!

Well, purist or not, here is one from last night.

The crack of my whip,

your muffled cries sing to me,

you long for my touch.

Okay readers, I’m challenging you, share your S&M themed haiku.  Jon suggested I make an contest of it, though I’m not certain what an appropriate prize will be, or how the challenge will be judged, but let’s see what happens.

Goodbye & Good Luck

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

I’m particularly pleased that a dear friend, and kink friendly attorney, has launched a new website, Kink Friendly Law, that covers many of the topics important to me and other pros as well as those that could come into play for Lifestyle players.  For example, in GA and many other states, one can not willingly agree to being assaulted.  So, what happens when you play hard and your bottom/sub has regrets and turns to the authorities?  It does happen, more often than you might imagine.

My sincere thanks to sled for launching this website.

Dea

Cuffed

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.