On Monday, February 28th at 7:00 pm, I will be sitting on a  panel with the photographer, Forest McMullin & Professor of Woman’s Studies, Beth Hackett, in the Dalton Gallery to discuss the “Day & Night” photo project, the images they portray and misconceptions about the BDSM lifestyle.

From Mr. McMullin; Artist Statement for “Day & Night”:

Day & Night is an examination of identity. Most of us have different ways we behave and different faces we wear, depending on the circumstances in which we find ourselves. There’s the work face, the family face, the face with friends, the one with strangers. These faces merge into the complex construct that is our identity. Perhaps each face is as discreet as a separate identity. With some, these identities are nearly indistinguishable from one to the next. For others, they may be radically different.

When it comes to sexuality, the discussion can become much more complex. We may describe ourselves as male or female, straight or gay, bisexual or transgender and at their core, these descriptors define, to some degree, sexual practice. And these practices often define how we envision ourselves, how we want others to see us, and how we choose to navigate the world. It is at the center of our identity and yet it is also the most private expression of that identity. I am curious about the notions of private versus public and how we understand disparities between the two.

These images look at the faces individuals present to the world and contrasts that with the one saved for only a select few. The work challenges assumptions of what is considered normal and acceptable and asks the viewer to re-assess how they see and judge themselves and everyone around them.

Please join us Monday for what I believe will be an enlightening conversation about BDSM and those who embrace the lifestyle.

© 2011, Dea. All rights reserved.

DomCon Atlanta 10/10/2009 1:30 / Chardonnay Room

Let’s get started

Sounds sets come in a couple of varieties, for beginners, I recommend Rosebuds and Dittles sets.  When you are completely confident in your use of those, you can graduate to Pratts.  They cost about $90 a set.

Sterilization v Sanitation and/or Disinfection

Disinfection:

Before and after use I recommend a cold soak, I use Bio-Tool, it’s cheap, and it’s effective. It kills down to the TB, HIV virus.  As well as being effective, and cheap, it’s environmentally friendly.

You can also use a 10% solution of chlorine bleach with the same effect.

Cavicide is a product made for hospital use as a surface disinfectant decontaminant cleaner. It’s bactericidal, virucidal, fungicidal, tuberculocidal, and more. After wiping it on, I leave it sit for around 10 to 15 minutes, and then bathe the sounds in warm water to remove the Cavicide. Usually two or more turnovers of the water just to be on the safe side.

Boiling for the recommended 20 minutes is considered a high degree of disinfection but still not sterilization.

If  the sounds set you are using is meant for one person only, sanitation/disinfection is typically sufficient for a single person use, but to be on the safe side, true sterilization is your best bet.

Sterilization:

After disinfecting/sanitizing, place sounds in a Peel Pac, place in a pressure cooker on a rack, about an inch of distilled water in the bottom and pressure cook for 12-15 minutes. Allow the pressure cooker to cool completely.  Remove the Peel Pac and place on a rack to dry.  It’s okay that they are a little wet, they will dry.  Check the indicator on the peel pack, it will change to ensure you have appropriately sterilized your toys.  This process also works for other toys such as speculums, or other surgical stainless toys

Use of an autoclave is also a preferred method for sterilization.  There are many kink friendly piercers that may agree to run your sounds through if you provide your own Peel Pac.

Once sterilized there is no need to remove them from the peel pack, so long as they remain sealed, they will remain sterile.  Don’t return them to the case, and don’t open them until you’re ready to use them

Getting Started:

Thoroughly wash your hands and fingernails using a nail brush and an antibacterial hand soap.  You can also use Betodyne.  Pat hands dry with a clean towel and put on your sterile exam gloves. I typically avoid latex gloves since some people have latex allergies.  Get your equipment together.

Sterile Sugilube

Polysporin

Sterile 4×4 gauze pads

Chux

Betodyne

Sounds set, still in its Peel Pac

Make sure your sub is freshly showered and has emptied his bladder.

Once everything is together, prepare the cock with a disinfecting towelette or Betodyne solution and change your gloves to a fresh, sterile pair.

Now you can open your Peel Pac!

Anatomy:

Palpate the base of the cock and find the urethral valve at the opening of the prostate.  For beginning sounds play, you don’t want to go beyond this point.

Technique:

Support the cock with your ‘wrong’ hand, thumb positioned at the base at the valve, you want to keep track of this spot, forefinger a few inches above three fingers supporting the other side.  The goal here is to keep the cock upright.  It’s not necessary for the sub to have an erection, it’s a great sensation either way.

Run the first inch or so through the Polysporin then through the Surgilube.  Introduce it to the urethral opening, holding it perpendicular to the cock. NEVER push or force the sounds, let gravity do its thing.  You can usually feel it slowly sinking in.  When you feel it reach the base you can use your thumb to prevent it from going further.  You can slowly extract it  and let it fall again.  When your sub is ready, graduate to the next size and repeat.

This is a process of stretching the urethra.  Go slow, there is no rush.  Check in often with your sub, find out how he’s doing.  The amazing thing about sounds ans stretching is that the urethra will return to normal after a few days and it’s will be more receptive to further stretching in subsequent sounding sessions.  Again, SLOW is what it’s all about.  Sounding sessions are typically long and drawn out and should never be rushed.

Aftercare:

I recommend that you have your sub abstain from alcohol for at least 24 hours following s sounding session.  Water intake should be about 8-12oz an hour for the next 4-6 hours.  I give my subs cranberry tablets to take for the couple of days.  I’ve never had a sub report back to me that he contracted a UTI following a session and most, if they follow my recommendations report little to no burning with urination in the 24 hours following the session.

Resources:

http://www.boothmed.com/

http://www.imed.com/

http://fetclinic.com/

I really enjoyed this well attended class. please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have specific questions or would like to purchase a sounds set.

Dea

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

DomCon Atlanta

10/9/2009 11:30 / Chardonnay Room

Let’s get started

Introduction:

This is a “101” style class, so much of what I’ll cover here today many of you will already be familiar with, but for those just getting started in the lifestyle, it may be new and valuable information.  In any case, I know there is something for everyone, no matter your experience or sill level.

Before You Play

Talk to Your Partner

• Find out what he/she is into.  BDSM isn’t always about pain, not everyone is into the pain aspects of play. Understand his/her desires of play and set goals for your scene.

Talk About Health Issues

These issues should not preclude you from playing, but may determine how you play.

• High Blood Pressure
• Heart Problems
• Circulatory Issues
• HIV/AIDS
• Hepatitis
• Herpes
• Breathing Issues/Asthma
• Diabetes / Hypoglycemia
• Joint Problems
• Allergies to Latex, Grasses, Perfumes, etc
• Epilepsy or other Seizure Disorders
• Back Problems
• Emotional Problems/Prior Trauma or other triggers (ex, paddles and crops previously used only for punishments will likely make a scene less enjoyable)
• Current Medications / some medications can cause one to bruise more easily or deeply than intended, blood thinners can also have this effect, causing a clot to form and throw up to a week later.

Be Prepared

These are items I recommend you have readily available during play:

• Safety/EMT scissors or seatbelt cutter, capable of cutting though rope or leather.
• Water for you and you partner, BDSM play is thirsty work.  You might even consider a straw, if your partner is bound it will make it easier to have a sip
• Basic First Aid knowledge.  Buy and study a first aid book.  Keep a basic first aid kit in your play space or traveling toy bag.
• Keep a phone nearby just in case something happens you can’t manage on your own (discuss when to and when not to call 911.  recommend having the number for the nearest hospital on hand.  911 calls are recorded, calls to hospital ER are not)
• SAFE WORDS! A large part of BDSM play is role play, pushing boundaries and power/pain exchanges.  Choose a word that won’t typically come up in play, or stick to the standard “Yellow, I need you to back off a bit and give me a five count” or “Red, you’ve exceeded my limits and this scene is over”.  If your partner is gagged and can’t speak, have him/her hold an item, such as ball or cat toy that they can drop or shake to signal a problem.  I use jingle bells in this situation.
• Towels.  These can be handy to mop up spilled water, drool or other leaking bodily fluids.
• Light Blanket or Bath Robe.  Many people get cold when a scene is winding down.  It’s nice to be able to wrap up.  For some, after a particularly heavy session they can be a little shocky.
• Food.  Often a light snack will be helpful in helping a bottom come back to reality. Avoid salty snacks in favor of fresh fruit, raw nuts, juice and hot tea.

Know and Understand Your Personal Limitations

• Understanding your personal skill level is key to safe play.  Don’t try something that you haven’t properly learned. Find someone that you trust and respect that you know possesses a certain skill set hat you want to learn and ask for their help.

Don’t Play Under the Influence

• This is self explanatory.  If you have been drinking or using drugs, when you’re high, you may not be capable of making the best decisions where safety is concerned.  Just don’t do it.

Sanitation/Sterilization/Disinfection

Bacteria become resistant if you use the same cleaner all the time.  It’s recommended that you switch out between at least three of these disinfectants to assure the bugs don’t develop a resistance.

• 10% chlorine bleach solution
• Cavicide Disinfecting Solution or Wipes
• Vionex Antiseptic Towelette
• Lysol Disinfecting Wipes
• Clorox Clean-Ups

Body Mapping

• Know and understand your partner’s body
• Identify key organ locations
• What to avoid during impact play / Neck, spine, kidneys, tailbone

Circulation & Nerves

• Identify blood flow and nerve bundles
• Use the “Squeeze test” squeeze your bottom’s hand, ask them to squeeze back.  Use this often during bondage to gage their circulation.
• Use the “two-finger” method for restraints, if you can’t get your fingers under the rope or restraint it’s probably too tight
• Test for circulation regularly during bondage, is his/her hand/foot getting cold to the touch? How is the color? Red is okay, purple is not
• Use the blanch test, when you press on your bottom’s bound limb does it turn and stay white for a prolonged period of time?
• Identify the location of nerve bundles in the extremities and avoid  tight bondage that will cause compression issues
• Avoid tight bondage across the chest, we want to keep our partners immobile, but breathing shouldn’t be a chore for him/her

After Play/After Care

• Bottoms often feel cold or become light-headed or dizzy after intense play.  I suggest keeping a light blanket of bath robe handy and making sure you have a comfortable place to relax and come back to earth.  Sips of cool water, juice or hot tea and a light snack of fresh fruit, and/or raw nuts can also help.
• Some bottoms experience a “bondage high” and may behave a little silly.  Keep an eye on him/her, offer physical as well as emotional support at this time.
• Often the effects of bondage, or intense play last more than a few hours, and sometimes even days.  Follow up with your sub/bottom, sometimes a call or an email is needed to make sure they are feeling well both physically and emotionally

It was a pleasure to meet you at DomCon.  Thank you for attending my class.   Feel free to email me with specific questions.

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.

Domina Dea

I’ve been a little quiet the past couple of days, I’ve been busy preparing my presentations for DomCon Atlanta.  I’ve attended this even for a the past 3 years, but this is the first time I’ve taught a class or given a demo.  In addition to presenting, I’m also a Gold Sponsor and will be participating in the industry seminars and discussion panels.  I’ve not seen the schedule yet, so I’m not certain on what day or time I’m teaching, I’ll post the schedule when it’s available.  If you haven’t already registered for this event, I encourage you to do so,  the educational opportunities alone make it worthwhile, but the icing on the cake is the social aspect, of course shopping the vendors and the HUGE play parties!

So, what am I teaching, you ask?  The first class,  “Anatomy & Safety 101″, I will go over what questions one should ask prior to a session, and how those answers can determine what kind of activities you may need to avoid.  I will also discus some common health issues and how those issues can affect play.  Regarding anatomy, I will demonstrate an easy way to “map” your submissive/bottom’s body to easily identify areas to avoid for impact play and discuss a variety of safety points regarding circulation, avoiding nerve damage and the like.  This class is in part a live demo.

The other class, “Urethral Sounding 101”, is a beginner’s basics class  for playing with urethral sounds.  This class is meant for those that are interested in exploring sounds but are uncertain about where to start.  I will discuss urethral anatomy, site preparation, safety, the pros and cons of the variety of sterilization methods, explain the difference in sounds kits, do’s and don’ts and basic technique for the beginner.  This class is a live demo… squee! I have the most wonderful demo bottom.

*the presentation schedule for DomCon Atlanta is now posted.  I’m giving “Anatomy & Safety 101″ Friday, 10/9 from 2:30 – 3:30 and “Urethral Sounding 101″ on Saturday, 10/10 from 1:00-2:00.

© 2009, Dea. All rights reserved.